Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
