i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
