hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
