this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
