I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
