nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
