Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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