Whod you bang
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
