your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
