problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
