My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
