i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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