you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
