So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
try to milk me bitch
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
