fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
