You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
