Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
