I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
