Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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