I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
