i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
