All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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