He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
