I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
