She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Operation Purity has been aborted
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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