im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
