Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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