He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
