i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
