Yo dont text me then not text me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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