it was like his penis was on wheels.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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