so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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