I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
