OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
