Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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