Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
