and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
