a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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