So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm jealous of your bromance
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
