ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
