A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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