he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
