so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
