one might say we're banned from that church
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
