he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
