The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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