I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
