You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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