trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
