if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They took my balls.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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